One of my reasons for writing this blog is to find a way to feel more connectedness. Being part of a community is probably number one on the list of factors leading to a long and happy life. As we get older this becomes so apparent. Working on this part of my life has been important to me, but I never gave it all my effort. Now is the time to go all out, make the effort that will make a change.
It seems that I am not the only one in this position. Just this morning, I found Anne Sage’s blog. Though she focuses on lifestyle and interior decorating, in this post she talks about her lifelong “loner” status and how she has changed that in recent years.
I decided pretty early on that I didn’t ‘get’ other people and that they didn’t get me, and I wore my loner badge with prickly pride… The feeling of belonging that eluded me for so long rests entirely in my hands; it’s just up to me to practice.
The second knock on the door came from a Huffington post video published recently (with the US Poet Laureate – Juan Felipe Herrera) that describes why being completely comfortable in solitude is dangerous. This is the same thought that has been circling through my mind this week. I am quite comfortable spending all day alone. It is usually not until late in the day that I realize I haven’t spoken out loud all day. When day turns to evening is when it is most evident to me that I am alone and have no one to share the sunset with, no one to share a meal, there is no one dancing in my kitchen. I’ve always known that being so comfortable with being alone makes it very difficult (even sometimes, impossible) to be motivated to seek out relationships. But this comfort has put me in a precarious position. Now, I feel like I will be wading against the tide; like I need to re-activate dormant parts of my brain, even my soul. I know that continuing to live a lonely life is not healthy and I feel it is causing many hidden problems for me. I do lots of things to stay physically healthy, and I need to add this goal to my daily plan. – EEK!
How difficult will this be? – to peel back the layers, put myself out there and choose a different path from where I was heading? Juan Felipe Herrera suggests that to turn away from a lonely life we must recognize the sadness that propagates it and he says “That’s not really you. You’re a volcano of joy.” He continues to repeat “you’re a volcano of joy” like a mantra. Maybe it should be my new mantra.
Let me know how you’ve made changes in your life to be more connected.